Ramadan (Part II)

The 1st part of Ramadan is over (أوله رحمة), , ,May Allah accept all your Prayers & Fasting.

سبحانك لا إله إلا أنت، إني كنت من الظللمين
اللهم صلي وسلم وبارك على سيدنا وحبيبك المصطفى محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين.

(I don't know, I don't look like him bass , thats the closest. visit Face your Manga)

Random Stuff:
Through the middle of the week, I received disturbing news that the wind of change is blowing again @ workplace. ..I am thinking, sarcastically:

(emnawer el yalsah 6al 3emrek, ma teba sheesha? ma teba raqqa9ah sharqiyah ba3ad?w GOOM! yallah GOOm!)

Great! Just what we need, another freakin change. . .Not just any change, Change we can believe in awannah. I guess its the fashion in many corporations these days. You aint Cool enough awannah if you on’t have a CHANEG plan. Hmmmm, Why can’t it be extra change in my Bank Account (Ka-CHING! ! !). Now that’s my kinda change!

Me & Bama,,, she was a very helpful mentor at SL

Bama and her boy Seb. . . they were sweet enough to envite me to their beach.

Seriously though, change is good, but I hate it when it becomes “unnecessary” or “unplanned”. Then again, it’s Ramadan. . . Most shows are boring & lack DRAMA. . . except for Sh3beyat el Kartoon.

Ok, I’m down with change. . . bring it on.

Been playing around with SL for the past 4 days... am telling yah,, this stuff is addictive... worse than a black berry!

But I love it very much, I get to be who ever I want to be....but be careful, U need a computer with a very good graphic card and a hell lot of memory. . . .

Hey, did anyone feel that earthquake that hit Iran on Sep/ 10th??? I was asleep. .

(Me telling that shiny planet with those two weird blips to Move cuz the MOON has just arrived :-Pasmeenee '7aggaag)

Yesterday at the tent, a friend comes in casual wearing a T-Shirt with the following statement printed on it:
“I need someone really bad,
Are you someone really bad?”

Bowaaahaaa haaa haaaaaaaa!!! :-D

Movin on. . .
I was stirred, not shaken by a recent post on a blog that I visit much too often to:

• Learn something new,


• Be entertained,


• Offer an advice (if asked for 1)…etc.

That post got me thinking about that person’s close examination of Marriage commitments.
My post is gonna appear a little longer than usual because I like this subject. There are no hidden messages in this post for anyone so don’t look for any. My post is not a challenge for any one also nor it should be considered a reply to anyone either.

We are approaching the “ Y Marriage Season Y ” in UAE starting from October 2008 to June 2009. Get ready to receive them wedding invitations every 2 days or so. If you are getting married during that period. . . ALF MUBROOK 2 U & may ALLAh bless you with Thureyah 9al7ah. and for those who aren't getting married yet, Happy Hunting :-P

Back to our subject, I’ll be basically screaming out my mind here about something that makes me honestly feel uneasy when thinking about it. It’s the excitement, not discouragement if you must know.

He who claims there is nothing to be worried about when proposing for the first time is a hypocrite. Do you have ANY Idea how big this step is? It’s huge! We (men) do a great job, pretending it’s an easy thing.

N-query:
I have some random Qs to ask. . .

Why do some (not all) single men like play around? Lack of commitment? Because everyone is doing it? Or to prove something to the whole world?

What drives some (not all) married men to cheat? Lack of attention? Lack of passion? Boredom? Adventure?

Better yet, why are married men found desirable by some (not all) single females? is he a pro? is he safe because he already has another female that lives with him?

Would a female accept a guy who has NEVER EVER been with another female before in his life? Ya3ny would she marry a virgin?

What do most (not all) females find attractive about a bad boy image?

Slow Shift:
Today, we have mixed workplaces. Mixing genders at the workplace became tolerable by a society after many calls from the west to support and increase the role of females in the public and private sector.

A mixed workplace (might) be a nightmare for a jealous wife. I’ve heard compliments from single females that disclose sexual attraction to other married men at a workplace. ladies , watch your husbands. even your closest friend can become his lover, or worse his 2nd wife.

Some (not all) females TARGET married men at work for a chance to be swept off their feet. Married men are seen by some (not all) females more eligible than single men. The closer, the better. I am sure you heard stories that goes like this: My Best friend is my husband’s 2nd wife.
If you think that some (not all) men are lacking loyalty. Think again, Some (not all) females don’t mind building their lives upon someone else’s expense and seek to be the 2nd wife using every power they have.
Guess what, these workplaces are like (the new mixed schools) for those who have not been in mixed sittings since their teenhood.
The new UAE University campus in AL Ain is built in a way that, if the ministry of higher education decided to mix students up, a wall can be taken down and POOF!, you got a mixed university! As simple as that. . .
Still, you got (protective/ traditional) families who’d rather keep their daughters at home than to send them to mixed universities.
I predict that in 100 years from now, all public and private schools will be mixed. Because it will be such a financial burden to hire 1 teacher for boys and 1 teacher for girls. Just hire 1 teacher, for boys and girls because Oil in UAE won’t last more than 100 years (at current rate of production and current identified reserves).
Speaking of Energy, the country is heading in the right direction in diversifying its energy consumption (solar, nuclear, wind). The continuation & improvement of our lush lifestyle is so dependent on energy, to preserve that easy-going lifestyle, we need to diversify our consumption. If I had a say in things, I would focus on district cooling to make it mandatory for all towers in A.D. to be cooled this way. There, I just saved Billions of $ in electricity, gas and diesel bills for other important matters. . .

6 elements
Short story….there was this girl who I met few years ago who was complaining to me about her marriage.
I asked why she got married to him in the first place. She blamed it on her Father’s wife who made her life miserable at home. She wanted to escape from one hell and found herself in another.
Her mother passed away when she was little. The girl is Super cool and gorgeous, you Won’t believe she is a mother.
As for her husband. . .Hmmm (LOL Aba asebbah because he is lucky to have her as a wife)

Though not married, I tend to think about a concept that may form the foundation of a reasonable/ effective marriage since (in my opinion and I hope I am wrong) there is no such thing as a “Happy Marriage” or “Perfect Marriage”.

Sure, everyone is happy when 2 start the journey of holy matrimony, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a “Happy” or “Perfect” thing. Look around you. . . no one is Happy 24/7.

The ceremony, the party, the signing, the dancing…… All SHAKLEYAT, or a way to make it official that 2 human beings have became legally partners in life. Do you know why women are more eager to go to weddings than men? It’s a hunting ground for potential brides for their sons. Plus, women are less entertained publicly in this country because of religious, cultural and traditional reasons. Female weddings are like free concerts and a chance to put on a show for those who like to Shake it. . . ^_^

If you (I mean the females) have your eye on someone you like (a man) and want to be noticed by his family, go hunt their mothers, sisters and female relatives down at wedding receptions. That is, if you are desperate, of course. Let them notice you enough to ask you or ask about you if you are still single.
As for those chicks who are married already, please don’t spoil it by being envious and/or jealous. . . . Keep MUNKAR EL 7EREEM in a bottle where it belongs and drink it later when you go back to your husbands. Get drunk on it if you have to, bass please. . . let the single ones have their chance to impress.
No marriage in this world is exempted from nagging, fights, arguments…etc.
My concept is based on balancing 6 elements in no order:

Rational, Respect, Sacrifice, Loyalty, Trust, Passion.

If one can’t make reasonable concessions and scarifies, marriage will not continue. If rational is not used to remind the significant other of his/ her role in a family, Loyalty may become shaky due to a sudden loss of respect. If one can’t maintain Loyalty, Trust would be Lost eventually. If Trust is lost, out goes passion. Then you got another Dramatic story for people to enjoy Next Ramadan.
The above is not a secret recipe and there are No guarantees (what so ever) that a marriage will work using the above concept.

I am not an expert on relationships even though I had my fair share of affairs and relationship since my late teens. And I do believe that when it comes to relationships rules, , , , there aren’t any.

What’s the criteria?
Some (not all) men are strange creatures. . . . While some don’t have any sort of a standard for a partner and would be happy with any partner that comes by, some appear a little too picky and make a list of specific requirements that should be used as a reference when searching for the future partner. I mean, they want more, have nothing or little to offer in exchange for a commitment.

That sucks!

True, beauty ranks high on our list of traits we desire in a partner (outer then inner beauty). But beauty alone doesn’t always cut it. I am not superficial when it comes to beauty. I wasn’t born yesterday, I know what makeup is. I have a sharp eye for external details. Nevertheless, I said it before and I’ll said it again, outer beauty doesn’t cut it without inner beauty. . . kindness, cheerfulness, , , you know them all.
Criteria? What might appear perfect for one person, may seem less perfect by another. It all depends on the hidden values deep within us. . .


Would you go for someone Non-national?
My choice will always be a national. Though the option for non-national is on the table.

Would you go for someone older?
Remember the saying “Old is Gold”? well, for most men that I know, getting hitched to an older female is not something they really see happening. Not period though. Some older females know how to take care of themselves pretty well enough to have you think that time has stopped with them.

I don’t see that happing for me even though I once had a crush on an older chick previously. It was a one way crush. :-P

Would you go for someone divorced?
People often wonder why a match made in heaven suddenly break up. . . their curiosity takes over and try to jump into unnecessary conclusions. My policy on all marriage affairs or any affair what so ever (whether legal or illegal) is “unless consulted, Mind your own business”.

I went around and asked some guys (and girls) about getting hitched to a divorced person. I had mixed answers from both genders. Here are some of what I can remember. . .

One married male said: “Sure why not. If she doesn’t have kids. . . But if I got a chance to go for a (beker), I do go for it. No disrespect to divorced women. It may not be her fault, but the (beker) is always my first choice.”

PAUSE;

The first time I heard the words (beker, بكر) and (theeb, ثيب), I thought these were terms used in Camel Races. . . I was like, why would marriage involve camel races?

PLAY 4

A single guy who was never married before (NOT ME) said: “no way!, do you have any idea how sad that sound? I don’t mean to depreciate (theebs) bass I can’t see myself marrying someone divorced for the first time. jealousy tamshee fe 3eroogee ya ‘7oook”.

In my mind, I was like: OOookay, Mr. jealousy. Calm down eat Jello and listen to J-Low.

A single female said: “It depends if he has kids or not. If he does, I’d rather start with someone new”.
In my mind, I was like: peffff. . . .I know a single female who married a guy with kids.

Another single female said: “3aaady, el Rayal ma ye3eebah shay. Even if he had kids, I’ll take him”.

Short story. . . . a mother approached her divorced daughter asking: “a single guys is proposing to you, what do you think?”
The girl’s reply was: “single?! No, that’s unfair for him. He should go for some one single like him. . but I don’t mind if he insist and only if he is not like # 1”.

Personally, and the following is (MY OPINION as a single guy who was never married before), I see no harm in getting hitched to someone divorced, unless she has kids because I honestly can’t handle that. . . not that I hate kids but, I thinks it’s too much for a single guy like me.
My mother was OK with it (without kids of course), which was surprising, yet amusing. I am not even close to hopeless; it just doesn’t make any difference to me. My stand on this matter was resented MORE by the guys when I shared that thought with them.

One guy said: “how would you feel if you bump into your wife’s ex-husband on an airplane while she is with you?”
I said: “3aady, ignore. He was legally married to her and not any more. So what?”

Another guy who opposed my opinion asked me secretly (between me and him): “what if she cries his name by mistake while you both get jiggy with it?”
I know why he chose that situation, because it’s so emotional and physically intense that a slightest interference can turn into a disaster.
I took a moment to think rationally. . . .Could that awkward event really happen?
Ok in a less intense event, what if I was walking in the mall or was at a restaurant with her and she called me by her ex-husband’s name?
Then I spat it out quietly: “Look, only someone insecure would react negatively to such situation 3azeeze. Me? I’d smile/ ignore. There, I just earned me more respect from her. Plus, she was his wife, not his girlfriend. There is a difference”.
He gazed at me, raised one eye brow and whispered in my ear “I’d like to believe you, but I don’t”.
Go ahead, now you can join him if you want. . . . ^_^

Ok, so why aren’t you married yet?
I am taking my time. Period. Plus, am like a puzzle board with missing pieces. . .:-P

Think Bonnie & Clyde. . .

Plus, I am using my free time to earn more degrees and rebuild a stronger financial base for a healthy and secure future. Though they can, I don’t like to let my family handle the financial burdens of my marriage plans in the future. I wouldn’t want the future partner to feel “less impressed”. Am also not looking for something extravagant that would break my back. . .

Book scan:
I flipped through a one of my books titled “Why Men Marry Bitches” written by the New York Times bestselling author SHERRY ARGOV. As rude & obscene as the title may sound, the content features 75 relationship principles and It’s a pleasant read in case you are wondering.
YES I read books written for women. . . Feeeeha shay??? A book is a book. . .

^_^

Under 2nd Relationship Principle: He marries the woman who won’t lay down like linoleum- The author elaborates:
“This brings us to the definition of a marrying bitch- aka a strong, spirited woman who can stand up for herself. The bitch is not rude or abrasive because she’s smart enough to know that being considerate is more effective. But she won’t work overtime to “catch a husband”. Because of this, he doesn’t classify her as mindless woman he can take advantage of. She has a certain Moxie about her. Sugar and spice. . . and not always so nice- that’s what his dreams are made of.”

The 1st relationship principal reads: In romance, there is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who has the dignity & pride in who she is.
Couldn’t agree more to the 1st principle.

The 3rd Relationship Principle says: he doesn’t marry a woman who is perfect, he marry a woman who is interesting.
Very true I might say from a guy’s point of view. But it depends on the guy’s definition of interesting.

The following scene is from the movie “Hitch”. My favorite scene in the whole movie. . . .thats what I call interesting.

If I was asked to translate the title to Arabic (our Arabic, hehehe), I would write it this way:

"ليش يتزوج الرياييل القوايا"

That’s better than using that Arabic slur equal to “bitch”.

See you in Part III.

I’ll leave you with this clip of the upcoming Bond movie, Quantum of Solace

N-JOY,